


Respite

by roguefaerie (samidha)



Series: A Skip in Time (Time Agnosia Supernatural Style) [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Ableism, Established Relationship, Jessica Moore Lives, Multi, Working out Ableism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-19 04:41:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13697067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samidha/pseuds/roguefaerie
Summary: Sam's getting some control of his situation, so he gives Dean and Jess some space.





	Respite

Jess knows that Dean is in need of support from her. He’s hungry, wanting. The truth is, they all know. He doesn’t let the thoughts out often, not where she or Sam can see them. But he hasn’t been able to hold them in as easily since the last night he and Jess got time to themselves.

And for Sam’s part--he still wants, really wants, the stability for Dean, they all know that too. The peacefulness when Sam is really, really with them and can feel what they feel is their best indicator of that. 

Sam’s with them more now. They’re starting to realize it’s real and measurable So he actually offers to not just call Bobby but drive himself to the salvage yard.

Dean and Jess exchange a look.

He’s been reluctant to call Bobby--they all have--but now he wants to drive out there?

“Sam...If that’s what you really want.”

“It is.”

“I could drive you,” Dean says, and Sam shakes his head.

“No, Dean. You’re exhausted. You and Jess--you both are. You need…”

“Kinky, Sammy,” Dean says with that extra-false extra-everything cheer of his.

“Yeah, actually, I guess,” Sam deadpans.

“Sam,” Jess says, “Listen, we just don’t want you to...you know, slip somehow and drive off the-- Hell, _I’ll drive you_. Or Bobby could--”

Sam shrugs. “Well, I don’t know, but you all need a few days. Please. Take them. I’m--”

The three of them feel Sam’s frustration at himself, at everything, bubbling up.

Jess fires him a look. “Don’t, Sam, don’t say it, please.” 

So that’s the end of the conversation, and Sam wins, because he always does. They make him promise to check in by phone. A lot.

They don’t exactly want to lose Sam in 1984 somehow.

Sam’s got his music, and this is the first major test of his new system of staying here. In the here.

*~*~*

Dean lets out a breath as the car pulls away but his heart is still hammering hard. He waits for Sam’s first call home and only after it’s done does he let Jess hold him.

She feels him shattering apart under her hands and pulls him close. He closes his eyes. “Jess… I…”

“Dean.”

“I can’t always… I can’t always do this. Maybe I’ve fucked it all up. It should be me driving away in that car. I…”

“No, Dean. You need rest.”

“I should be driving.”

“You want to drive _yourself_ off the road?. Come on. Let me--”

She squeezes his wrist a little and he starts to let go.

“Can we? Should we?”

“Dean, we’re alone. The real question is, do you want to?”

“Always.”

“Then come here,” she whispers. “I’ve got you, sweetheart. We’ve got time. We’ve got time right now.”

“Me and Sam-- Do you--”

“Sssh. It’s okay, Dean. Sam’s not here. Look. Baby. He wants you to let this go for a little while. Will you?”

“I…”

“Will you do that for him?” she asks. “For me?”

She feels him shiver a little bit, and then nod. “Yeah. Yeah, I will.”

It’s not easy for him to do, though. His breath catches in his chest. And every once in a while he starts-stops talking, like he knows he’s about to bring up Sam again if he does.

“Let go,” Jess whispers, “Let go.”

“Can I?”

“You can. I can. Come on. Do you trust Sam?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I trust Sam. With-- with everything.”

“There you go, then. Trust him with this.”

*~*~*

They stay in the smaller bedroom, because it feels less weird in there for them. They sleep, and they make noise, and they both let themselves fall apart a little bit. There are discrete stops and starts to every halting thing they do while Sam’s away. But Jess knows just how to hold him to brace all of the pieces of him that are aching with physical and mental anguish, and he knows how to make everything about her fit back together.

“You brought me home,” she murmurs to him. “I’ll never forget it. Not in a million years.”

“All I did was wish for it,” he says, gruff and self-effacing as ever.

“Wishes come true, Dean. Mine did. Yours did. Sam’s will too.”

She can’t help it. They can’t help it. They’re his--he’s theirs--they’re everything to each other, or at least so much to each other that the little jagged bits that remain hardly matter.

Dean closes his eyes again and sighs. “Sam-- Do you think-- Jess, I’d give him anything.”

“I know, baby. Ssh. Sorry. I…”

“I love him so much. So much. I would--”

“I know.”

“I don’t know where…”

“Where he begins and you end.”

“Not at all.”

Jess laughs. “Me either, a lot.”

“Are we a mess?”

“Of course we are. We all are. But everybody is, Dean. All the best people are.”

“Mad Hatter.”

“Damn straight.”

Dean grins. “Sam’s a bit Hatter-y.”

“Hatter-esque.”

“Hatter-y, dammit.”

They’re grinning. “You think he’d like it?” they ask at the same time, almost on purpose but not quite.

“I think Sam knows, sure,” Jess says. “Like it? Sometimes. He likes intensity.”

“I think intense is our only setting,” Dean says. Then he yawns and curls in close against her.

“Sleep now, Dean,” Jess says.

“I will. Just...there’s more.”

“There’s always more. We’ll get there, and we’ll do it together. Even with Sam. I’ve got you. Sleep, baby.”

He thinks of a future when everything about Sam is less about slipping, and more about getting rooted in place, with him and Jess. She squeezes him just tight enough. And he lets his breathing even out and he falls asleep in her arms.

*~*~*

Dean dreams, he dreams of Sam missing, missing in a fire, and Jess is nowhere. He feels a raw, churning feeling like bonds breaking, pain taking over, and he starts to scream.

He screams himself awake.

Jess is right where she needs to be and he curls against her, letting the tears out. “Sam,” he murmurs his brother’s name. “Sam’s always the one who leaves.”

“Dean. He’s coming back. He promised both of us. Just let go. Just a little bit, honey.”

“Need him. I…”

“I know you do.”

Dean shakes his head minutely and then switches to the bond. _Sammy. You hear me? Please._

_Right here, Dean. I haven’t traveled._

Dean lets out a breath he wasn’t aware was buttoned into the bottom of him.

_Sammy?_

_Dean, we’ll….wait for me to get home._

_How’s Bobby’s?_

_Weird. Miserable._

_Sammy, will you…._

_Soon, Dean, soon. Dean…_

_Yeah?_

_I love you, man. I’m here. I’m still in 2009. And I… I just do. Okay? Just...let Jess… let her help._

_She’s tired, Sammy_ , he says, thoughts reaching a bit of a fever pitch.

 _Tired, yes. Tired of you, no. I’ll be home in a couple days. Just let her...be Jess…._.

And Dean lets himself melt into her arms, hiding his face against her. 

She kisses him on the forehead.

“We know,” Jessica whispers.

“I need you. I need…”

She leaves another kiss, gentle but firm. “I know. Let me, Dean, let me help you.”

The last of his defenses slip and he starts to cry.

“He’ll be home soon, but he wants this for you, Dean.”

Dean nods and clears his throat. “I do too.”

“Yes.”

They fit together like two puzzle pieces, lock and key, and with her arms around him, for the moment, he starts to forget.


End file.
